Editor-N-Chief:)

Hey there RoomWAView fans!!! This is lil-ol-me your Editor-N-Chief (center stage) bringing you this weeks submission a little later than usual, but here it is:) This week we will further celebrate the spirit of Halloween with tips on how to throw the greatest Halloween party ever!!! This weeks Poetry For The Masses is a poetry pot luck filled with laughs, love, and a little woman named Lois. Well, there's only one thing left to say... Enjoy:)

Halloween A-Go-Go!!!

Are you truly one of these people who thought Halloween parties died with platform shoes and Buffy the Vampire Slayer in syndication? Well, I'm here to tell you, they are back with a vengence!!! Trust me... these aren't the same parties you would have as a kid!!! Once the children are passed out after thier candy frenzies, the Wicca-pa-looza is set to begin.

Step1: Every party needs a theme, and thank goodness Halloween came around. Make sure you send out your invites now (if you haven't already) and make it a Halloween specific party. Those are the best!!!
Example: Don't just say come in any costume you feel like it...BORING!!!
Theme your scream-day. Have everyone come as their favorite Quintin Tarantino , Steven King , or Alfred Hitchcock character. Then rent movies based on your specific theme. You could even Harry Potter your party to greatness!!! It makes your party guests have to work a little before they partake of all your cheese nips:)

Step 2: Has everyone R.I.P.ed? That is Responded In Print? Good. Now that you have the party guests all lined up, it's time to dress the part. If you choose the Quintin theme, dress up like Quintin yourself. After all, the host or hostess should always have the best costume. Now to get the refreshments.
My favorite parties have always been the ones with creative (yet filling) foods. Lay out some lady-finger-hand-witches. (Lady fingers with Red food colored almond halves at the end of the bread to look like fingernails.) Spread out the Halloween Cupcake, cookie, and candy bowls and platters. Feel free to lay out that red cool-aid punch bowl with plastic goblets for the extra bloody effect, but don't starve your guests. Always be prepaired for the occasional dentist, dietition, and veggitarian. This means having veggie-platters on hand and ready to go. Don't neglect your carnivore friends either. Have a nice cold-cut spread laid out, and feel free to spread a couple of plastic mice and spiders near (but not on) the food. Also keep in mind that ruby red wine is great for most party buffs, but someone has to drive back home to the kiddies, so sober is the word for the designated driver. For all of us other drinkers, have your Red Alizay, Red Wine, Hinnies, and Cosmo-mix ready and waiting!!! PS-Don't forget the ice!!!

Step3: Decoration 101. The best decorations are disposible cameras. Have them laying all around (not the bathroom please) and make sure the guests know that they can use them, but can't take them home. The pics are for you (and with the photograph-ies permission) your blog.
Remember to place a basket of toiletries the guests can use in the bathroom. The things in the basket include...a. sanitary napkins b. aspirin c. an extra roll of T.P. d. Lysol e. a box of wetnaps and make sure the soap dispenser is full.
Not too many chairs!!! Don't invite people to sit and be bored at your party. Set up enough seating for only half of your guests.
Don't overdue the decorations. A couple of cobwebs will do the trick as long as they are not in the way of the food or entryway. Nothing is more annoying than picking fake cobwebs off of your costume or food all night. Like I've said already, a couple of plastic spiders and mice are fun and festive. There's no need to overdue things.
Now that you have the food and the friends, take a run, not only to Party City, but to the record store!!! Stock up on not only Rasputina's "Thanks For The Ether", but on other non-Halloween CD's that rock!!! These can easily become your guests contest winnings. Make sure to never stop the beats from spinning at your party either, but don't make the tunes overly loud. Your guests may like to chat it up, and that's no fun when they can't hear. After your Party City deco's are up... this leads me to my next step:)

Step4: Party fun!!! These are a couple of fun party ideas to make your friends have a screamin' good time.

Party Bingo: In your invitations, set up a party bingo list personalized to your friends. Example: On Sofrita Linda's party bingo card it would say something like, "If you hear someone mention the movie "The Fog" you get a "B". "If Chickie spills her drink, you get an "I", and so on and so forth until someone yells "PARTY BINGO"!!! The winner can get a movie or a CD or anything else you want to give as a gift:)
Best Costume: Best costume should be judged at the beginning of the night because most costumes begin to fade and melt as the night wears on and the games are played. A good time to give this prize out is after Party Bingo is over. That way, most of your guests have arrived, and any stragglers can't complain because they already missed the first game.
Bobbing for eyeballs: This is a new swing on the age old bobbing for apples game. All you need is an apple-bobbing basin, water, and some large plastic baseball sized eyeballs. (Please nothing small to prevent chokeing.) PS-Make sure you have towels that you wouldn't mind getting dirty with facepaint, and a sturdy table that won't make the eyeball-bob too annoying to play:)
Balloon Necking: This is always a fun way to pass the party time. All you need is a wet and full waterballoon, and your party guests. Your guests then line up boy/girl/boy, and try to pass the waterballoon from one person to the other. There's just one catch... you can only use your chin. Anyone who uses their hands, or drops the waterballoon, must step aside until the winner is revealed.
Tarot Card and Palm Reading: Anyone can read a palm, or pretend to. The wronger you are, the more fun it usually is... so buy a deck and/or crystal ball and go psychic-wild!!!
One word...Karaokee: A time honored tradition. What would your party be without it?!! And, it doesn't hurt that it's almost time to go home.
Time Warp Dance Contest: Once the party starts comming to a close, it's time to whip out the cheese-puffs and cheesy music. The contest is just what it sounds like!!! Have the best time warper boogie their way to victory:)

Step5: The party's over... or is it? Time to develop those disposable camera pics, and post them onto your blog. Just make sure you ask permission first. Your guests have a right not to let everyone in the free world see them dressed as Hermione Granger while doing the time warp.

Step... Psyche!!! You are done. Did you have fun?!! I know you did you party animal;)
Now there's only one thing left to say...Enjoy:)

Poetry For the Masses:)

The following poem was inspired by the book "Why Do Men Have Nipples?"

“The Truth Why Men Have Nipples”
By E. Perez

Why do men have nipples?
It’s actually quite clear to me when asked this simplest of simplest questions.
You see, scientists believe it is because in the womb man was originally woman.
And, they believe that, to achieve their male counterpart, they grew something extra between their legs (but not inside their heart).
Why do men have nipples?
Well, it seems to me (spiritually) that religious types believe that it goes back to the bible.

You know, way back to Adam and Eve.
See, God made woman from a man in that scenario.
God took a rib…
Improved on man, and…
Hugh!
Well there you go. ---->

“Romantic Comedy”
By E. Perez

Double-features rule my life,
Making it feel empty.
Image of a happy wife,
Spreading lies aplenty.

Life is not all happiness,
And marrying a friend.
All good things, after all,
Must come to an end.

After the bright lights come on,
The truth shines in your eyes.
No happy ever after.
They were actors disguise.

Romance, artistic license.
Moving picture show.
Movies reflect real life.
Why couldn’t that be so?

“Memory Lane”
By E. Perez

Perry White looks like my Dad, when he would ask for a loan.
I’m just a big pain in the neck.
You know I hate to bitch and moan, but I asked for OJ that was freshly squeezed.
No, Jimmy, I’m not one who has to be appeased.
Hey, how is that word spelled?
I have deadline to make!
There is no z in that word?
Oops, well… it’s an honest mistake
Now, Jimmy, take the picture quick.
My bangs are curled.
Won’t someone tell me just what’s happening in the world?
I think my skirt is way too sheer.
Does my pink underwear show?
I have this interview set up.
I think my blouse is cut too low.
I feel that I am unprepared for all this, but…
I must remember, at all times, go with my gut.
I am craving nicotine, but I was told by a friend,
That it would blacken up my lungs.
So, my smoking’s come to an end.
I’m truly in love with this so-called “friend-of mine”.
He can’t be with me, so friendship will be just fine.
It must be hard to always be a Superman.
And so, I’ll be here for him anyway I can.
I know our distance from each other’s playing smart.
No matter where he is he’s always in my heart.
But, at times, I feel I’m jealous of the world,
And can’t believe the heartache my life has unfurled.
I’m disbelieving as to how selfish I am
That I would risk the world for the love of a man.
So I simply struggle through it day by day.
And, he must watch as my life slowly fades away.
Yet, he has always won when he’s been in a fight.
He is too smart to go by death-of-Kryptonite.
He will be young always, and he will never die.
He is the perfect man who cannot tell a lie.
But, I can lie, and so, I tell him that I’m fine.
And, I don’t tell him that I’m crying all the time.
I think it’s best if I just keep him in the dark.
The only person I would tell this to is Clark.
Clark is the corniest of my platonic friends.
Unlike Kellell, it is on me that Clark depends.
He is the klutziest and goofiest of guys.
He’s from a small farm town.
Is that such a surprise?
Clark is the sweetest and the nicest guy I know.
As far as being cool, Clark has a ways-to-go.
I feel comfortable to share with him my sorrow.
I will not think about my worries ‘til tomorrow.
I am clear proof that women are the stronger sex.
Now… off I go.
I have an interview with Lex.
I know that I just don’t want to be left behind.
I wrote this down so you could quickly read my mind.

Happy October And...

E-Deader-N-Chief:

Hey there “RoomWAView” fans (or should I say, Room With A Boo fans?!!) This is your Editor-N-Chief (lil-ol-me pictured above being scared, not of the gremlin behind me, but of my boyfriend’s Halloween costume.)As you may have already guessed, it’s October!!! To commemorate this scary time of year, I am giving you the belligerent, bloody, ballads of one Steven King, and Alfred Hitchcock. But, if the “Psycho” or “Carrie” poems don’t give you “the willies”, then just read the third “Poetry for the Massive Corpses” poem. Only one thing left to say. Enjoy…If You Dare!!!

Poetry For the Massive Corpses:o

“Blood Mother Blood”
By E. Perez
I’m pleased to meet you.
I’m a nice guy.
You know I wouldn’t hurt a fly.
I’m here to help you get some rest,
because the Bates Motel’s the best.
You see that house upon the hill?
Me and my Mother live there still.
She won’t come down.
She’s sick you see.
And, from her room she watches me.
I care for her, and the motel.
I think my job is pretty swell.
A taxidermist on the side…
You must be tired from your long ride.
So, here’s your room key.
Now, you’ve been fed.
So, take a shower and go to bed.
I’m a good son.
I’m iron clad.
But, liking girls makes Mother mad.
I must admit that I like you.
Your shapely figure...
Your eyes of blue…
It is the lust that I am after,
and in my head my Mother’s laughter.
Oh, Norman, she is full of sin.
Whores look that way to reel you in.
Your feelings are wrong to desire.
They’ll soon be gone once you retire.
So, sleep now, Norman;
don’t you stir.
Don’t worry. I’ll take care of her
with one quick stab.
Sink car in mud,
and cleanup all…
Blood, Mother, Blood!
She tried to take Norman from me.
And so, she had to die you see.
I know Norman won’t take a wife.
I AM HIS MOTHER!
I AM HIS LIFE!
And, we will always have each other.
Dutiful son…
And, loving Mother...

“Carrie’s Prayer”
By E. Perez

Hail Carrie, full of rage.
You know what happens on this stage.
Humiliation takes its toll,
When breaking spirits is your goal.
When you’re known as “the” high school geek,
And your Mom is a preacher freak.
When you’re abused and wonder why,
You start to stare.
You start to cry.
Just when you know you’ve had your fill.
The one word in your mind is “kill”.
When you have skills that no one knows,
And they spill pig’s blood on your clothes.
When you are known as a wallflower,
But have telekinetic power.
When you’re embarrassed on prom night,
Your mind goes into fight or flight.
Your mind starts fires as you stare.
You smell the burning flesh and hair.
And, you just slowly stroll away,
To Mother’s arms and start to pray.
Just when your spirit needs a life,
Mom says you have the devil’s gift.
And, that your birthday is accursed.
Out of all mankind, you’re the worst.
She says she must correct the error.
And, now your mind is filled with terror.
You hold your head and start to shake
At thinking you are a mistake.
Mom lifts a knife to stab you dead,
But she won’t know what’s in your head.
In self-defense, you’ll crucify.
The kitchen knives are real close by.
The knives, they fly.
They stabbed.
They sliced.
And, now her corpse resembles Christ.
And, now you want to go away.
A perfect end.
A perfect day.
Your home implodes.
There’s only ground.
But, strange…
Your corpse is never found.
An empty lot is all that’s left.
Now, at the hour of your death.

“The Legend of You and me”
by E. Perez

What is the story without me?
I’m the one who gave Snow White a smile.
I was extremely close to Eve,
And that’s why they both ate of my apple.

Where is the plot without me?
I made Hamlet and Leartes friends.
I introduced Romeo to Marcucio.
It’s not my fault their swords made bad ends.

Where is order without me?
I found a good use for the atom bomb.
I gave a strong arrow to Paris.
I’m the one who keeps everything right.

What are feminists without me?
I gave Cleopatra a present.
I made a hairdo for Medusa.
They both love the symbols of serpents.

Where is your life without me?
I brought you the strength of the Germans.
I have seen moments of doubt and pain.
I was born on nine eleven.

So, what are you without me?
Don’t you know that we are both brothers?
What is the light without dark?
Forever we must be together.

What is the yin without yang?
What is the black without white?
What is the peace without horror?
What is the wrong without right?

“Because I’m Here”
by E. Perez

Because I’m here…
That is why you found the quarter on the ground when you had that dime and had to make that call.

Because I’m here…
That is why you found a man your perfect height after you had dumped that one who was too tall.

Because I’m here…
That is why you were given a wristwatch on the day you forgot one from your collection.

Because I’m here…
That is why you did not get sick and die though your boyfriend neglected to use protection.

Because I’m here…
That is why that year (it just flew by) when you went through your depression, pain, and sorrow.

Because I’m here…
That is why although your sad you needent cry you’ll forget all of your worries by tomorrow.

Because I’m here…
That is why your friend said okay, I’ll drive. You were tipsy and that kid ran in the street.

Because I’m here…
That is why I will carry you, my child, when I know you’ve spent your life upon your feet.